When I started this blog I talked about Nico. Sometimes I still mention him and I don’t always remember to clarify that he is my 5 nearly 6 year old lhasa apso. I often just say he is my boy, my chief, my wee man. My son. I’m his mum and that is how it feels. The picture I’ve linked to is him as a 1 year old sort of adult being aloud to wander off lead in a local wild area for a bit before I got too afraid and put him back on his lead for the next decade. Or I hope decade.
Nico’s legs stopped working properly tonight. I don’t know when he got hurt and I don’t know how. I just know that when his ‘gran’ (my mum) got home from work he went to try greet her and he barked and was enthusiastic and his back legs just didn’t work. They dragged down the stairs in a ‘thump thump thump’ as I watched in horror. One sort of did, but the other just dragged behind. I phoned the vet at once who booked us in for an hour and a half later. I carefully picked up my boy (my life, my child, my light in the dark) and placed him on our bed where he had lain all day appearing fine as can be. He is a lhasa and he’s lazy as they said he would be. For him to lie there all day snoring is not abnormal but now I’m tormented with questions of why didn’t I see it before? When was before? What hurt him? Will I lose him?
The vet did not help in the way I hoped. She looked him over and his legs appeared weaker than before in the house. He clung to me and didn’t try to fight them off; a sign of problems as his usual state at the vet is to fight and one she had readied herself for after seeing his notes. The vet who saw him asked for the other vet in the building to consult. They confirmed neurological damage and immediately referred my pup to Edinburgh’s animal hospital. Normally he hates the car but he went without protest. Then he went from my arms to a nurses and that was the last I saw of him. 7.10pm 5/7/18. Just to note.
They confirm it is neurological. While I sit here at 4am pouring my hear out my son is in a cage of some sort in Edinburgh. I hope he is sleeping and content. I know the med student who is going to do the overnight with the animals was cheerful and said Nico had taken to him and seemed nice but…well it isn’t me is it? That student will have other things to do. Nico will wonder where his family is. Where is his maw? Where are his grandparents? Where are Senna and Doug, the other pups. It is a horrible thought.
Tomorrow Nico will be given an MRI…that is unless he deteriorates overnight but frankly it is 4am and my phone has not rung so I am hoping he’s dozing in a corner. It sounds horrendous to think this way but GOOD news would be that he has had some sort of stroke. A blood clot. That way will be rehab and painkillers and taking it easy. The bill will be half. We would get him HOME sooner.
The other outcome is he has something pressing on his spinal cord. That means surgery. It means risk of infection. It means more weeks of him trying to stand. More weeks of him in hospital away from his family. More stress on him. If he needs surgery they say he won’t be let home until he shows he can stand and pee.. All the current situations give him a 90% recovery rate but nothing is certain yet.
But those are good notions. It could be a tumor and then there is nothing they can do. It could be something else and I’m confronted again with prices and is it worth it for him and is he in pain. At the moment money is an issue I will deal with later. Nico’s grandparents love and support him fully. I will gladly pay each penny of a payment until he dies of old age if it means I get him another ten years and he’s an old grumpy guard of a lhasa still going ‘hey! oi! dog on my street!’. I would happily give up holidays anywhere for a week hanging over the back of the recliner with my bud surveying the world.
But for my bud, my chief, my lad, my wee man, my Nico, it would be best if it all goes the easiest and cheapest way tomorrow. He’d be happier and healthier. But if it doesn’t boy, maw’s here 150% as long as it won’t hurt you and you have quality of life. I’ll do all the shifts. I’ll break my back to fix yours. Maw loves ya boy.
(1 hypo and 2 hypers from emotions so far. I dare anyone to hold it against me)