P!nk and the challenges of concert travel

I’ve decided to pack in the blogging challenge. I don’t find that it is being of any use. In fact, some of the questions just feel a bit silly so I’m just going to get on with regular business as it were. Wordless Wednesday is something I liked doing for it though so I will try keep that up. I never did it before but it does seem a rather cool concept so yay pictures. Apart from that, who knows? I am known as a rambler so expect rambling…kind of like this but perhaps more useful.

This weekend was challenging on the health gremlin fronts…well basically on all of them apart from my depression but that is always a lurking ninja waiting to hop out and bitch slap me so hey, it could also have gotten involved. I travelled across the country to stay with one of my best friends and go to a P!nk concert and this meant leaving the house on 8 hours of sleep. I attempted to get more but my body clock just wasn’t letting me sleep until a certain point so from the start the fatigue is like O__o what is this?! We need our ten hours omg no. Now, my friend only lives a couple of hours away but our climates can vary by several degrees and when your thyroid is a little bitch when it comes to temperatures that might as well be like moving from the North Pole to Mexico or something. When you have chronic fatigue not getting enough sleep is like spending the entire day walking through sludge. You start shit and get worse I find though I hope some find it better. So my wardrobe for this overnight trip was all about the layers. I was a stripper in waiting as I left Edinburgh. Sure enough, thyroid got involved soon into my trip because as other passengers were pulling off jumpers I was pulling on my jacket and shivering. Due to travelling in the early morning my dawn phenomenon was hanging around and making me feel sick as my insulin and body duked it out over what level I was going to get. The numbers themselves were actually not bad but I could feel the internal war going on. In addition to all of this trains and train stations have people, lots of people, with timetables and schedules and scary stuff that makes me anxious. It was like I was being pelted from all sides with no armour.

The journey wasn’t too bad and to be honest the gremlins were more of an annoyance. My biggest grievance was the sunlight coming in the window meaning I couldn’t see my DS screen and play pokemon. I’m on the verge of defeating Team Plasma! Got to friend, happiness all around, and then we decided to go grab some food. We went to Weatherspoons but this place didn’t have the slips with the carb rates that other places have and my phone couldn’t get the net so it was guess work lasagne. I then discovered at the table that a combination of diabetes and anxiety had pushed my blood glucose up so it was correct and guess, always a terrifying combination. I failed and on the bus to the concert later found another high. It had been four hours since my last injection so I corrected and thought nothing of it. My anxiety became the lead protagonist in my story. By protagonist, I mean horror. Social Anxiety is a fear of social groups or yaknow people and concerts tend to involve a lot of people. Understatement there, Grem. I was a bit jittery and had to work to try and keep focus and calm. I had managed a concert last year when my anxiety was worse so I used that as motivation and pushed on, got seated, and grew irked at the length of time it took P!nk to appear. She was incredible. She’s an amazing performer who puts her all into it and sings live, which can be a hit and miss with pop artists these days. The gremlins were far from my mind until I realised something was just a bit…off. I tested my blood and there was yet another 23 staring me in the face. This time it had not been 4 hours since my last correction so I pushed on with the show. It had to go on right? XD

By the time I did correct, I was starting to feel rather sick and my thyroid was making me swelter in the stadium and then on the coach which was strange to feel after so many months of being an icicle. I had an absolute ball at the concert and was proud of coping with my anxieties , managing my thyroid and still being awake. The last was getting harder by the second but I could still form sentences and stuff so considered myself a winner. I was looking forward to a cup of tea when we eventually got back to my friend’s at 2am. Dragged the blood kit out again to be confronted with….a hypo. That was the moment I was close to throwing all the toys out of the pram. Instead I asked for some toast and orange juice to go with my tea and sulked. By this point I had been awake close to 19 hours and I’m so damn proud of myself because a year ago that just wouldn’t have been possible. I’d have crashed at some point and not falling asleep on the trains or buses is a big deal for me. It proves to me that I can work around my fatigue and still do the things that others can do. Fastforward to this morning and I woke up and found myself hypo again, despite all the corrections and despite my dawn phenomenon usually meaning I’m sky high instead. Sometimes you just can’t predict conditions. You just have to try, try your best and work around them. I had to balance a lot on my trip and a year ago I would have beat myself up so hard over the blood sugar levels and got angry that I got so tired but I didn’t. Instead I took pride in how I handled the negative things and focussed on the positives.

Speaking of P!nk, some lyrics that I find inspiring for battling all these Gremlins. Wanting to manage things is half the battle, having the desire.  ❤

 

Where there is desire

There is gonna be a flame

Where there is a flame

Someone’s bound to get burned

But just because it burns

Doesn’t mean you’re gonna die

You gotta get up and try and try and try

You gotta get up and try and try and try

You gotta get up and try and try and try

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