Anyway, baking. I find it very therapeutic because it can be stressful in itself so it makes me focus on something completely. If I don’t something will go wrong so I forget all about the noises outside, creaking floorboards, people passing by, what that shadow was and if that knock on the door is someone trying to kill me. I have flour to knead. I busy myself with sensible worries concerns like my oven being at the right temperature and not chatastrophising thoughts about someone kicking my door in. I love trying new things and trying harder things. I recently made bread from scratch for the first time and was so proud of myself. I didn’t have a proper airing space or a machine but I improvised and got results. I love the smell of baking and watching things cook while I clean up after.
Then, there is nothing better to me than sitting down with a nice cuppa, a sample of my work and relaxing. I’m exhausted after I bake; too exhausted to get overly anxious about anything. And then until all the goods are eaten I have a constant reminder in my kitchen of something I achieved and did well at which helps both my anxiety and depression. It is the reward side of things that has literal cookies at the end of it all.
Today’s effort led to chocolate sugar cookies. Ideally they would be shaped like hearts but my only funky cutter is a teapot and I didn’t think that would work. I got to dye sugar cool colours to sprinkle on top at the end and nothing in cookery amuses me more than colouring things oddly. So yes, it was stressful and yet relaxing all wrapped into one with tea and cookies at the end of it and a big smile on my face.