Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

More pump wearing practice.

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The Endomitriosis Edition

I will return to the meme but I wanted to break it up a bit, leave a gap, and not bore people into not wanting to read this anymore. Back to the health stuff! Though, I do hope getting a look at me beyond my health issues is somewhat interesting. I’m all over the internet and more than happy to make friends. My health twitter isn’t my only one and what not. I think it is important to have an identity beyond my health even if my conditions are a big part of my life and who I am.

Anyway.

Endomitriosis is the topic of the day. I was packed off to a gynecologist this morning which is actually pretty rare in the UK. What they would do in many other countries is covered by your GP or a practice nurse in the UK so it was rather intimidating. I was up very early and as such was very tired upon arrival but something strange happened. I was taken early! Being taken on time at my hospital is a big enough achievement so early?! Get in there girl! I wasn’t that anxious at the time but I think that was because I was so damn tired. I’m struggling to sleep right now and being fatigued with my thyroid I need more sleep than most so the combination is a bit of a zombie to be honest. A zombie in a Charmander t-shirt but a zombie nonetheless.

We talked about my symptoms which are many to begin with. I feared my anxiety would lead to a mental blank so I wrote it all down. I basically have nearly every symptom that a website or book would describe when it comes to endomitriosis. People think that I don’t want to talk about my periods because I’m insecure or made to feel ashamed but it is actually that the thought is horrifying and I don’t think anyone wants to think about times they are curled up in a ball crying while they have pains doctors think are about on par with delivering a baby. Without the pill I’m erratic and my period is like a deranged ninja waiting to pounce on me from the darkness and then I’m racing to throw back painkillers before the pain comes. It isn’t fun.

Anyway, I was on a pill but it stopped being as effective for me so I was sent to this appointment. I found it refreshing. Many options were discussed, my opinion was asked for, and I was allowed to have the final say in how we went about treatment while being assured that there were other options we could try if I wanted to. I have decided to go for the contraceptive injections every 12 weeks. They should thin my lining, put a dent in my severe pelvic pain and perhaps even stop my period all together for a time which would be shiny. I am aware that there are several possible complications to this treatment but I have weighed up the pros and the cons and the pros win at this point in time. I don’t have to stick with this treatment. If my bones start to thin, for example, I will stop them. Every medication has its pros and its cons. Even the pill I’m on right now has its cons but living with my endomitriosis without treatment is unbearable. At school it got me sent home but at work it could get me fired. Either I go home or I stay and do a crap job because I can barely see from the pain.  Something has to be done and I feel much more confident having a plan than I did without. I am also getting stronger painkillers. Basically badass ibuprofen.

I have also been assured that given my various results and descriptions they doubt I have cysts which is a huge relief. I was terrified I was blowing up from the inside to be honest and it feels great to realise that actually no. My pelvis just hates me and likes to cripple me at random times of the month. Nice of it. I’ve also been reassured that my fertility should not be impacted. I don’t actually want to have children. I am fiercely child free which goes down badly with a lot of people that think my age renders me incapable of such a decision but the point was always that it was my choice. I hated the idea that it was taken away from me and out of my control.

Injections should have no impact on my other health gremlins. ALWAYS GOOD!

Though the pump is soon. I’m so anxious I’m not sleeping and have been back to therapy and have all these techniques that don’t work and I’m going to combust aha. The pump is a lot of pressure cause in the UK there are so many waiting lists and my anxiety and depression question my ability with it, if I deserve it and I know it is all crap  but urgh pump stress.