General Gremlin check up!

– diabetes. Pump is going well. Had one day of 3 failed sets in day and being up half the night minitoring but in general I’m doing well. Today I managed to do both my dog’s walks in one day without any hypos. They were long walks too. If anything I see a rise in levels even when I start at 6 or 7. Research suggests the walk is the cause as it doesn’t happen when I don’t ie there is no pattern. I really do think my body thinks I’m still a caveman and every movement clearly means a mammoth is chasing me down and I need to RUN. I will cackle if I’m someone who has to take insulin to be active. Cackle.

– endomitriosis. I had my first depo injection 2 months ago and at first it didn’t seem to have much impact. I felt terrible. All my symptoms came back and I was in constant pain wondering why I ever thought this existance was normal and then suddenly…nothing. No hip pain, no feeling like my insides were exploding, no rectal or vaginal pain, no feeling like someone was trying to pull my digestive system out of my arsehole, no cramps, no periods, nothing. With a severe reduction in the number of headaches I usually have. I’m really happy with this treatment so far. To be fair, I may have periods. This is not the longest time I’ve not had one off the pill but I sure wouldn’t miss them. I feel like I’ve maybe gained some weight but that came around me starting the pump so I’m not sure if it is inactivity or injections of my imagination. If I have and this is all I’d take it over my symptoms but if I gained more and couldn’t lose it by lowering my daily calorie intake after a diet than I’d have to consider dropping the injections. My insulin resistence dropped so much when I lost weight before so I don’t want to make it difficult for my body. There are other endomitriosis treatments after all and my diabetes will trump any of my other conditions in a heartbeat. We shall see. Of course, in the long wrong my bone density might require stopping the injections anyway so I will always keep researching this condition.


– Anxiety. Dealing really well with this I have to say! In a general sense I think I’m doing awesome on the pump. I see numbers that are out of target and I don’t freak out which I did before. I go higher and the pump tells me not to give insulin and I accept it and don’t freak out. I just generally am not freaking out over this whole insulin pump thing and that is a huge deal. Plus I’ve been coping going out and about despite the fact that I need to learn what I can and can’t do without going hypo all over again. It is like being a new diabetic, really. And my body keeps doing the oposide of what ‘usual’ predicts but yeah, calm. I even had people come and fit new flooring in my house and having strangers in working didn’t freak me out either. Yes, I hid myself away with a wee packed lunch but I wasn’t anxious when before I would have been so really proud of my progress.

– Depression. This is the one that is being more of a grumbly Gremlin. I do feel I’m struggling more but there is no point in going to the doctor until after Christmas. I did, after all, just lose my cat, my grandmother and start an insulin pump within 3 weeks of each other so I know it would be ‘wait and see, this may be normal’. I know in myself I wasn’t ok before my grandmother fell ill but there you go. I am holding it together with this all far better than I thought I would but I do still feel that in general my mood is a lot lower. However, I don’t think an increase in my current medication is the answer as my anxiety is improving so I might be looking at seperating my medication into two seperate things to tackle each gremlin. Citalopram is being a combo ass kicker at the moment. Its kicks are just getting less effective from one foot. I think maybe having 10mg of citalopram and another depression med or just two new meds might be the answer. 10mg of citalopram apparently really only impacts anxiety where 20mg starts impacting depression. I take 30mg so…Idk. Idk but I know this current amount isn’t working but I am not wasting both doc and my time going now when I know he won’t do anything.

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