Volcanoes, Diabetes and all that Mental Jazz

 

Today I had quite the adventure. Sadly, a beagle has gone missing in the countryside near my town. A call was raised for people to come and help to look for him and my mum suggested that we go. So, this morning I was up and out of bed early and getting Nico into his coat and off we went. We did not manage to find the dog but we were out there a good while and I am really proud of our efforts.

I remember in the Spring of last year I went to look for a dog and it was a huge deal. It is really hard for me to meet up with unknown  people and do a thing like that. I get very anxious and afraid but it helped that mum and my pup were there with me. For being a lazy wee Lhasa Apso my dog was a wee star and didn’t complain or try to sit down and stop once. We climbed to the top of an extinct volcano and, though very out of breathe, managed it without too much fuss.

A year ago I would have been terrified of going to such a meet up and I certainly couldn’t have done it at 8am with my diabetes the way it was. I really realised how far I had come when I was at the top of that volcano trying to find a wee lost soul. Things are still very up and down at the moment and can be deeply frustrating at times but I have still taken huge steps in both my mental and physical health.

The holidays were up and down for me. Christmas Day saw my diabetes sitting in the teens despite using all the tools at my disposal and weighing everything but then on New Years Day I tried those same tools again and my bloods remained in target all day. I could sit and get frustrated at Christmas not working but I’d rather be happy that New Years did.  Everything is still a learning process on the pump. I had a curry one night and my combo failed miserably but hey, I still learned right? I know what not to do next time and that is still something. Results show I had the carbs about right but just had my insulin peaking at the wrong time.

I am starting an Assertion course this month at the hospital and I’m really looking forward to it. I have waited a while for it but they needed to wait until they had enough people for it. I really think the skills I will be taught there will really help me manage my anxiety and be really useful when I go back to university as well. I have a DAAS form to fill out as part of the course and I hope I do ok on it. Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m doing better, worse or the same mentally. I’m still plugging away at things though and that is what matters.

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