So that pneumonia illness saga we thought was over. Yeah. No. I had my chest x-rayed and did nearly two weeks of ‘peak flow’ readings which basically mean I blew into a tube that gave me a number and that number tells people medically smarter than me if my lungs are ok. Today I went back to see the Doctor. He was half an hour behind schedule and it made me really love my smartphone because I was reading articles for university while I waited in the nice and quiet. Not bad.
Well, he confirms I have had pneumonia. But now he’s sure he’s sure. However, he is still not convinced that is the only thing going on. According to him the severity of my symptoms, the results on the x-ray and the fact that I have FINALLY STOPPED COUGHING yet am still wheezing and puffing my way through life imply that I could have asthma. I felt like the bottom of my world had fallen out to be honest. If he confirms it that will mean the only organ in my body to never have stopped working in full at some point will be my heart. I mean, the heart is pretty damn important for a woman of 24 years old that is a pretty shocking statistic. My kidneys and liver and such were impacted by DKA years ago and thankfully recovered in full but still. It is a stat my depression is trying very hard to wave in my face right now. I’m writing and watching tennis to try and distract myself. My dog has luckily caught on to my mood and has left his perch of the bed to sit directly at my feet.
So. First I must say I was impressed that the GP immediately referred me to the asthma clinic while stating frankly that he was less knowledgeable it. Doctors can be put on a pedestal a lot of the time. It was really nice to hear him say that even though I do not for a second doubt that Doctors are aware and respectful or everything nurses do. I need to do more flow tests which is pretty horrible. Anyone who has done them will know doing them makes you feel worse but they need the information so off I go. I swear I spend half my day filling out health logs. I cannot see the nurse for two weeks but that will overall give me a month of logs which are about the required average to diagnose asthma if that is the case. I also have an inhaler to take twice a day. It would be an understatement to say my first attempt at that went badly. Got it all over my tongue and I can still taste it hours later. However, I think I got some of it down the old gullet. If my condition improves while using the inhaler and the logs match up then I would probably be diagnosed.
It is a scary thought. A resentful one as I said. I associate pneumonia with old people and asthma diagnosis with the young. I now know both are untrue and can happen at any age but it does feel like being kicked in the teeth. I know that life will go one whatever they find. I may be lucky in that I have just been very unlucky and my lungs are just still reeling and will right themselves in time. I may find this possible diagnosis does very little to change my life. That does not mean I don’t have a part of me that wants to kick things and throw things and scream about it all being unfair.